Nothing Lasts Forever

I turn 29 tomorrow. My golden year is nearly over.

Though it terrifies me to think of myself as 30 years-old in one year, in some ways I feel older than 30. As if I’ve been 30 for years. Which somehow makes sense considering that I also feel like I am my 13 year-old self at times.

Birthdays often bring introspection and this one is no different.

Right now I am sipping my espresso and milk, nibbling on ultra dark chocolate, nursing my baby and typing with one hand… Now she’s in the swing next to me, asleep. I can see mountains and tree tops and water from up here on my perch. Though I have many things I still want to accomplish, many moments to look forward to, I am perfectly content where I am right now.

Things continues to change rapidly. Time never stops nor slows. Everyone is getting older. People come and go. Nothing lasts forever–a truth that troubles me deeply because I am happy now. I am aware that I have it good. I love being a mother to small children and though it is exhausting it is delightful and precious and wonderful. When James is at home we exchange glances a hundred times a day, smiling over the unbearable cuteness, grimacing over the tears, laughing over the funny; we are partners on this glorious adventure. We are in it and we love it and we love each other.

But nothing lasts forever. Our children are only getting older. So are we.

I might be especially preoccupied with time right now because it gallops along at an unfair pace when you have a baby. Just the other day Skyla was a skinny-legged newborn who slept all day and now she has rolls beneath her chin and she is attempting communication. She has beautiful brown inquisitive eyes and a generous smile. The rest of us won’t stop gushing about her. That’s four people head over heels in love with one tiny person. She handles our affection with grace. She soaks it up and makes it her own and beams it back at us.

The thing about having children is the love they bring into a home. Every challenge in parenting is punctuated with love. You’ve got to work for the love I suppose, but oh sweet universe, the rewards outlive the work.

It’s like anyone’s life’s work, really. You don’t need to have kids to experience this kind of infinite love. You need only to give your best away, offer it up to the greatest good. Your best efforts, your best creations. It’s the only way to live properly: find what you can (and love to) do to add value whether it’s by raising a person or founding a movement or taking care of people.

We have to do it now. Today. There’s no time to waste. We must run with ideas, listen for callings, ask God and other people for help.

We’re only getting older and nothing lasts forever.

Yet there’s an undeniable beauty to growing older because youth is replaced with wisdom. Each day is a new experience and each experience lends itself to our understanding of why the hell we’re alive and what we’re supposed to do while we’re here to make the most of our brief forays on this four-dimensional plane. So that we may not only leave the earth better than we came upon it, but we may in the process delight in the taste of water and chocolate, the sensation of sunshine and wind, the swell of love and connection.

Since I enjoy quotes and learning and wisdom, I will celebrate my birthday tomorrow by sharing 29 of my favorite quotes and pearls of wisdom–lessons and philosophies that have enriched my 29 years of life, whether or not I have mastered or even understood their meaning.

Until tomorrow.

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To read more of my musings on motherhood, mindfulness and the creative life, please follow my blog or subscribe via feedburner.

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5 comments

  1. I love reading your posts and typically don’t comment. I like to let the words settle into my bones before I comment…but this one hit home. I don’t have a baby yet. I don’t know when we will…but I love what you said about feeling infinite love. While, I do think being a mom is a love you can’t compare others to- that kind of crazy big immeasurable love can be felt other ways. When giving back, doing something bigger than yourself, helping others etc. I feel that way teaching & I know I’ll feel it when I’m a momma. I’m not 29 or 30 yet I’ve also felt that age for years (am I really an adult? I still feel like an 8th grader) Thanks for sharing your sweet words. I think to often we let life pass by and one day we realize all things we wanted to do we never did.

    1. I just saw a similar quote today by Anne Lamott about this: “we let life pass by and one day we realize all the things wanted to do we never did.” I am so very scared of this happening. I just want to live a life that fulfills me completely so that I have no regrets. So far, so good… Thank you for the heartwarming comment. I definitely feel like an eighth grader at times. I also know I am very different from that girl though she is an integral part of who I have become and hope to become still.

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