dear giovanna

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me and my baby at one day old

Dear Giovanna,

You are nearly seven months old (and this letter was intended to be posted at six months, but you and mama have been busy). I feel like I was pregnant yesterday. I’m terrified that if I were to blink for too long, I won’t open my eyes in time to see you blow out one candle at your first birthday party.

You are a master at sitting up and rolling around. You have an infectious, throaty giggle and a sweet raspy voice. You make friends wherever we go with your little face that fluctuates from a shamelessly big gummy grin to shy, charming smile. You are fascinated by flowers and other children. Especially your big brother. You usually refuse to sleep by yourself. You love to “talk” and I can’t wait until I hear those two prized syllables come out of your mouth, “mama.” It’s hard to believe that you’re the same little person who flourished in my womb not so long ago.

Seasoned parents tell expectant parents to cherish every day because children grow up unbelievably fast. Where does the time go?

Simultaneously, I feel like you just arrived and you’ve been here for ages. I suppose you have always been a part of my heart, somewhere in my subconscious I’ve known you. I’ve dreamt of you, my first born child.

I am your vessel. You came through me, not from me, which is something I must remind myself frequently. And when you left my body to enter this world, you took along a piece of my heart and soul. This quote comes to mind:

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” ~ Elizabeth Stone

Every morning when I wake up to your kicking feet and rosebud lips, I fall in love once again. And once again I am struck by your beauty, your innocence, and your sweetness. You get cuter by the day. And whether I am biased or not is irrelevant. You are absolutely perfect.

I find myself frightened by how much I love you, your fragility, and the fragility of life itself. And then I remember to live in the moment. The only moment we have is right now, and right now, I am with you. You and I spend almost every minute of the day side by side. When the day comes that I drop you off at school, your babyhood will exist only in photos and memories.

So I cherish every moment, just like I’m supposed to.

With all my love,

Mama

my strawberry baby at 6 months

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26 thoughts on “dear giovanna

    1. She LOVES her feeder. It’s been so much fun for her to try different fruits. She literally sucks almost everything through the mesh!

      I really appreciate it when moms tell me that it keeps getting better as the kids get older. Keeps me from getting sad and reminds me that I have a lot to look forward to.

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    1. Giovanna is obsessed. She gets excited when I pull it out. And she sucks the heck out of it! Somehow she can suck entire chunks of fruit through the mesh. Ingenious invention!

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  1. Okay, that picture is too cute!! Love the food face pics!

    This is a beautiful post…and that quote is one of my favorites. I actually have it posted in the sidebar of my blog 🙂

    My twins are a year old today. I can’t believe how fast time flies…

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  2. Lovely. She is so beautiful! You sound exactly how I feel. It goes too quickly, but I try to hold onto every moment I can 🙂 She is lucky to have you! Thanks so much for visiting my blog. I’m happy to have found you. I am in love with your tag line and header!!!

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  3. what a sacred and special post this is….it only gets better from here sweet bella.

    I kept a diary of entries for sophia when i was pregnant with her, just random thoughts, things i wanted to share with her, say to her – and then I wrote a post for her on her 2nd birthday (see my blog post “thoughts for sophia”)

    this is something they will cherish when they are older indeed.

    you know, every stage is amazing – I once heard an elderly friend say when asked which season of her life was her favorite – she replied simply “whatever season i am in at the moment” –

    here’s to living in the moment and savoring every bit of it….

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    1. What wisdom from your elderly friend! Thanks for sharing.

      I also had a pregnancy journal that I plan to gift to Giovanna one day. Our daughters are lucky, if I do say so myself 🙂

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  4. 6 to 12 months are the best. It was a fantastic age with all the discovery. I love that you’ve chronicled your feelings in the letter to her too. They grow up so fast. I can’t believe mine will be 8 this fall. Your post reminds me to cherish every stage–even when they’re hard.

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  5. Oh Lucille… i dont know but there is some problem with my blogger feeds because i am not getting your post updates…

    i just read this post and i think it is just beautiful… and that quote by elizabeth stone… is just beautiful… I will adopt one day.. and at this very day i fear about all these things.. i wish i could keep my baby girl in my arms forever… let alone sending her to school… man tat is gonna be tough on me… but i guess i will have to learn.

    these emotions are just so powerful.. you cant really justify them and yet we want them to be true marring the practicality associated with them…

    I hope that one day your baby reads this letter.. enjoy the moment-> well said!

    xoxo

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    1. You have to resubscribe via feedburner. (I probably lost you when I switched to wordpress). Just click on the orange RSS button at the top of the page!

      These emotions are powerful and fueled by hormones. At least we can take companionship with other mothers who understand us!

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  6. Whoa- got me tearful again. So many wonderful thoughts I believe and share the same. It’s hard to pick a favorite line, but one that I feel too often: “I find myself frightened by how much I love you, your fragility, and the fragility of life itself. And then I remember to live in the moment.”
    I wish I could write something so eloquent before too late =)
    Ha ha… one more funny thing your post reminded me of- Haven has said mama and dada (I think half by accident) on occasion… but his first human mimicked word-noise is the sheep saying “baaaa” when he sees the sheep picture. BUT his first official word is actually quite hilarious…. not really mama nor dada, but “uh oh” – no joke! You know this kid’s ganna be trouble when that’s his first word!

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  7. Beautiful letter! Nya also just turned seven months, so I know exactly how you are feeling at this moment. I must constantly remind myself that the best is yet to come, that the fact that there will be a tomorrow is cause for me to appreciate today, that my sadness at what has transpired in this short seven months is truly joy. (Sigh)

    Nya also loves her feeder. I purchased mine from Target. I am not sure if you have provided an update on Giovanna’s solids progress, so I thought I’d ask here how things are going. Wish you all the luck!

    -Jessica

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