me and my baby at one day old
You are nearly seven months old (and this letter was intended to be posted at six months, but you and mama have been busy). I feel like I was pregnant yesterday. I’m terrified that if I were to blink for too long, I won’t open my eyes in time to see you blow out one candle at your first birthday party.
You are a master at sitting up and rolling around. You have an infectious, throaty giggle and a sweet raspy voice. You make friends wherever we go with your little face that fluctuates from a shamelessly big gummy grin to shy, charming smile. You are fascinated by flowers and other children. Especially your big brother. You usually refuse to sleep by yourself. You love to “talk” and I can’t wait until I hear those two prized syllables come out of your mouth, “mama.” It’s hard to believe that you’re the same little person who flourished in my womb not so long ago.
Seasoned parents tell expectant parents to cherish every day because children grow up unbelievably fast. Where does the time go?
Simultaneously, I feel like you just arrived and you’ve been here for ages. I suppose you have always been a part of my heart, somewhere in my subconscious I’ve known you. I’ve dreamt of you, my first born child.
I am your vessel. You came through me, not from me, which is something I must remind myself frequently. And when you left my body to enter this world, you took along a piece of my heart and soul. This quote comes to mind:
“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” ~ Elizabeth Stone
Every morning when I wake up to your kicking feet and rosebud lips, I fall in love once again. And once again I am struck by your beauty, your innocence, and your sweetness. You get cuter by the day. And whether I am biased or not is irrelevant. You are absolutely perfect.
I find myself frightened by how much I love you, your fragility, and the fragility of life itself. And then I remember to live in the moment. The only moment we have is right now, and right now, I am with you. You and I spend almost every minute of the day side by side. When the day comes that I drop you off at school, your babyhood will exist only in photos and memories.
So I cherish every moment, just like I’m supposed to.
With all my love,
my strawberry baby at 6 months