dear beautiful girlfriends

Dear beautiful girlfriends,

I’ve been feeling self-conscious lately. Both aware of and blind to my own beauty, the kind of beauty that shines from the inside out.

When I’m listening to the voice in my head, the voice of knowledge, the voice that was born from all of the lies I’ve accumulated over the past 26 years, I feel ugly. I feel judged. I feel that I will never be good enough.

When I’m listening to the voice of my true self, of my highest self, there is a deep knowing that I was born perfect and will always be perfect. My so-called flaws are not flaws, it is only my perception that is flawed.

When I was a child, my aunt wanted a nose job. She is gorgeous, my aunt. As a child, innocent and pure, no one had yet planted the lie in my head that a nose must be inconspicuous and perfectly curved, not too straight or too bent, to be beautiful.

Can we agree that all noses are miraculous? As babies, we use our noses to seek out our mother’s breast. As we grow into children, scents have the unparalleled power to invoke emotions and imprint memories. As adults, our noses lead us to pleasure as we inhale the scent of our lover, to relaxation as we relish in a lavender sachet, and to love as the circle of life repeats itself and we bury our noses against the head of a newborn baby.

Now in her early fifties, my aunt says, “you spend the first half of your life wishing things were different, and the second half of your life wishing everything would stay the same.” She never did get a nose job, in case you were curious.

I want to know: What does the size of our nose matter? Or the straightness of our teeth? Or the perkiness of our breasts? If we can smell the sweetness of a rose and chew the fruit of the earth and nurse the children of our womb, why are we complaining? Why are we wasting energy when we could be celebrating the miracle of life?

The voice of knowledge, the snake in the Garden of Eden, the fallen angel in the tree of knowledge — it is around every corner. In magazines, on TV, on the internet, in movies, on billboards, in windows, in parents, in friends, in spouses, in children. Everywhere. The web of lies is thick, and it’s growing every day, with so many people busy at work, adding their own intricate layer of false convictions and lies of imperfection.

The truth, however, will always set us free. No matter how detailed the lies have become, the truth is always underneath. If you stop believing in the lies, they will fall away like dead rose petals because they’ve lost the life force behind them; you.

My dear girlfriends, sisters and cousins, I’ve heard your cries. You aren’t perfect enough, and neither am I. You have wrinkles. Your nose is too big. Your teeth are too crooked. Your hair is too curly. Your skin is too pale. Your thighs are too big. Your breasts are too lopsided. Your waist is too thick. Your arms are too chubby. I won’t even get started with the deeper insecurities, except for to say that you are never doing enough for your career or your children or your partner or your self.

What if I told you these beliefs are all lies? What if I told you that you are perfect already? Your highest self knows the truth, can you hear her? Her voice is smaller than a whisper at first, but she gets louder when you learn to tune out the other voices, the ones spouting lies.

Let the truth set you free. Let your beauty shine from the inside out. Allow yourself to know your perfection, your highest self.

In truth and light,



  1. “Why are we wasting energy when we could be celebrating the miracle of life?” Perfect. Not wasting time has become a running theme of my life as of late, but it’s hard to shake old habits.


    1. We are certainly creatures of habit. I, too, am on a quest to replace negative habits with positive ones…such as loving my self instead of criticizing. We’ll get there some day, Emily!


  2. Beautiful post! And, I love the quote from your aunt. -“you spend the first half of your life wishing things were different, and the second half of your life wishing everything would stay the same.” I’m taking that with me. It’s amazing how age and time give us perspective.

    Beauty fades and is subjective. All we can do as women is love ourselves unconditionally, flaws and all, and teach our daughters to do the same.


    1. I know, that’s a good quote, huh? Although when I first heard it, it kinda freaked me out because I was still in the stage of wishing everything could be different. Outer beauty, along with youth, will always fade. Luckily, by the time we get to that point, we’re too wise to care. I’m trying to garner the wisdom now, but I will not lie, I still want to be beautiful. Old habits die hard.


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