No matter how I come across on the page, I can be quite negative at times. Sure, everyone has bad days. But we shouldn’t use this as an excuse for not trying to be better today than we were yesterday.
Sometimes, I become lost in the questions without answers, drowned from a lack of patience which seems as crucial to my sanity as oxygen to the blood.
I’ve found that this variety of the blues, mild yet harmful if not contained, can be quelled by counting blessings and rolling thoughts all the way around in gratitude. Not the kind with sharp edges. (This is so great, except for that…) But the kind of consciousness that accepts the hard moments without dwelling on them, leaving room to celebrate the beautiful moments by savoring and sharing.
Today, I am grateful for:
1. Motherhood. More than anything else in my life, my children have shown me who I really am. Strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. They surprise and challenge and delight me in extraordinary ways. No matter what happens to me or who I end up becoming, I will always be a mother and a step-mother.
2. Albert Einstein. (See above.)
3. Quality health care/insurance.
4. Barre3. An exercise method combining ballet barre, yoga and pilates; Barre3 bestows the gifts of good posture, longer and stronger muscles and, most importantly, some badass endorphins.
5. Libraries. Reading, both to the children and to myself.
6. Homemade tahini salad dressing.
7. My cousin’s brand new baby boy, Shay.
8. Signs of spring. Cherry blossoms. Grocery store tulips. Girl scout cookies. Chocolate eggs.
9. The space to be creative. The wisdom to know my passions. The presence of mind to pursue them.
10. Finding the courage to catch a grocer (and myself) off-guard with a friendly smile and my business card.
11. A new family tradition for the dinner table: sharing at least one thing *good* that happened that day. As it happens, the goodness generally overflows and we end up sharing our entire days.
12. Shedding the dreaded mommy-guilt. The universe conspired to bring me this message: I don’t have to give 100% of myself to my family. I finally understand that giving too much of myself can be just as bad as not giving enough.
13. The banana-carrot-walnut muffins I created this morning. First time, no recipe, huge success. Other ingredients included almond flour, cinnamon, dates, oats, organic eggs & butter and slightly less than 1/2 cup of raw sugar. My cooking and baking disasters have evolved quickly with frequent experience and experimenting.
14. Aging. Gaining experience. Maturing. Becoming better. My golden birthday is coming up in May. I think I’ve been waiting my whole life to turn 28 on the 28th 🙂
15. Red wine.