Who do you want to be?


I read an article recently by Deepak Chopra in which he directs us on how to create a life of true fulfillment. He recommends we cultivate clarity by asking soul questions: Who am I? What do I want? Why am I here?

I began meditating on these questions during my daily quiet time, when I’m lying down in Gigi’s twin bed, coaxing her into an afternoon nap that we both desperately need her to take.

These questions have given me an enlightening direction for my contemplations. They refocus my attention on what matters most to me: family, writing, health.

These questions peel away the layers that aren’t authentically me: beliefs caught from society, agreements formed with lies, assumed constraints birthed by past failures, expectations imposed by someone else.

The trickiest part is separating what belongs to you and what doesn’t. I’ve done this over and over again in my life. I’m going to throw out a few questions that I’ve asked myself and others, both silently and aloud.

Did you choose your career because it called to you, or because it would provide a good living?

Do you spend your free time on activities that fill your soul, or do you spend it numbing that aching feeling, that little voice whispering that you’re doing something wrong? 

Do you attend sporting events because you like to watch the game, or because you get a free pass to drink as much as you want?

Do you numb? Are you sure? What are you trying not to feel?

Do you consume food and beverages that nourish your body and make you buzz with energy, or do you eat what other people like (or think they like), perhaps out of convenience and habit?

Do you make time for your loved ones, or do you avoid them to avoid discussing how you’re really feeling?

What do you really love to do?

What do you not love to do?

Put yourself in the shoes of your child self and remember. What makes you feel alive? What do you want out of life?  Who are you underneath all of those layers?

If we don’t ask these questions, if we don’t keep them in the forefront of our minds, we might never become who we were meant to be. And that’s more frightening than the answers.


    1. Me too!!! I am always editing my little “about me” blurb in the top right hand corner. But I have to because I am also editing my life as I learn more about my true self.


  1. Great post. Some girlfriends and I were just talking last night about what our lives “look like” and how we spend our time/what makes us happy. One friend commented that she feels disappointed that she doesn’t have any “hobbies” (this is a kick-ass woman who has a high-powered, full-time job AND two little ones!) because another friend of hers has like seven. But we reminded her that those hobbies ONLY matter if they make her friend happy. There’s no point in wasting a second doing things we don’t love, just for appearance’s sake (except for chores. I guess we’re stuck with those). I would like to find a way to never cook again… but I haven’t cracked that one yet! xox


    1. This comment is why blogging is good for the soul and the brain. Since you wrote this, I’ve been thinking about comparison traps and how to avoid them. The dissatisfaction I feel with my life on occasion happens purely because I am not where I want to be. But that means I must be comparing myself to others rather than enjoying MY journey. It sounds to me like maybe your friend does need a creative outlet, but she doesn’t have the time. Being a working mother is all-consuming. I don’t know how people find time for seven hobbies, but I am not going to be jealous. (Though I might be if she were my friend!)


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