“Always needing to stay immediate by removing what is no longer real is the working inner definition of sacrifice–giving up with reverence and compassion what no longer works in order to stay close to what is sacred.”
– Mark Nepo “The Book of Awakening”
I am continually humbled by this life I have chosen as a mother, wife and writer. The beauty lies in the nuances and they are so easily missed. The distractions are plentiful. I want to get back to the basics.
The blank page.
Thoughts and words, no matter their speed.
Books I look forward to opening.
Entire days with no purpose but to love and be loved by my family.
We are constantly bombarded with information and opportunities and even images. First world problems, I know, trivial but real. A favorite distraction of mine (Instagram) utilizes “filters” to communicate via images and text. Interestingly, it seems filtering is exactly what we need to do in every moment; to preserve what is real, we cannot let everything through. We must be mindful of the snarks and cynics, the media including social media, the books and websites that don’t resonate, the habits that do not serve.
We must protect ourselves. No one can filter the noise for us. Not an app nor a partner nor a boss nor a parent nor a friend nor a child. No one can make our mistakes for us, and likewise, no one can know the depth of our potential but us. We are at the mercy of ourselves. Our thoughts, our words, our deeds. Our inaction and our action.
So much of my twenties I spent shaving away the layers that had calcified over my true self. Motivations, ambitions, careers, hobbies, lifestyles, beliefs. I made strides in casting away the debris and carving “me” out of the mess, and though I know this could be a lifelong practice of collecting and experimenting and releasing–I hold the hope that my thirties will offer more stability, more rootedness in the identities that cannot be peeled away. No one said it better than my sister: “I spent much of my twenties searching for myself, but in my thirties I am enjoying the person I found.”
If we can be raw, if we can put our barest selves out there, if can we accept our callings and our quirks without reservation and negotiation, I think anything is possible.
What are you filtering? I’ll go first. (See comments.)