God’s mango + 9 other observations

  1. While cutting a mango, I tried to come up with its origins: Did the divine intelligence, sometimes known as God, simply imagine a succulent fleshy fruit with a wide, flat seed, and then it became? How else could something as perfect as a mango exist? Maybe the God in each of us is our imagination.
  2. I can never tell if I’m doing life right or wrong. I guess it’s impossible to determine when everything is tied up and twisted together.
  3. You can’t hide from your family when you’re living in a small home. You can seek out pockets of space, but you can’t hide, at least not for long. And so you spend more time in one another’s presence, which is comforting.
  4. It’s been 9 years of loving him.
  5. The older I get, the less I know. Rather than feeling ashamed of my younger self and her mistakes and ignorance, I have found compassion. She was innocent because she was supposed to be that way.
  6. I love my job as an editor. I get to write bulletins and play with content for a well-known website. I get to work from home two days per week. I get to work with genuine, empathetic, smart people. For years, I feared that working outside of the home would be too hard on me and my children. My daughters (now 3 and 7) are doing just fine. If any parents are considering big life changes, I think you should go for it. It’s okay if you’re scared, and if you aren’t sure it will work out. You will likely find out quickly, and usually you will be glad you tried.
  7. Halloween was so good that I am looking forward to the holidays. I cannot say this is true every year as the consumerism of Christmas usually triggers unavoidable discomfort. But my kids are ecstatic about every little tradition–all I have to do is ride their joy. I am on the hunt for new traditions to teach them the true spirit of the season, focused on giving rather than receiving.
  8. In trying to get as comfortable and content as possible in my San Francisco apartment, I am faced with the frequent task of de-cluttering. We bring new things in all the time, and so we must send out the old. In a smaller space, you can’t shove stuff into a distant closet and not see it for months. You will see everything you own on a near-daily basis. You are faced with your footprint. This makes it more necessary to pair down your belongings, but not easier.
  9. I watched an episode of Black Mirror recently (“Nosedive” Season 3, Episode 1) that has me more concerned than ever about social media, how we are using it, and where it’s going.
  10. I stare at my children and try to understand how they came through me, how they were made from me, but I cannot fathom it. They are their own magical beings. Serving as their vessel continues to be my greatest honor.

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