Faith in the madness

So much is happening and changing all the time. We are floating along in our plans and our projects and our prophecies. And even as we return to our routines time and again, wake up and make coffee and open the computer and feed the kids and drop them off and go to work and take a walk and find our focus, everything is shifting, sometimes microscopically. It looks the same and yet it’s not.

The changes happen first in our mind. They are shifts in perception, desire, intention. They are openings and contractions.

Last fall, I made a vision board as part of a one-day Chakwave program. I cut and pasted a picture of a tent next to a kayak and a river. The next month, I bought a tent for Christmas. I reserved a campsite for the following summer near a redwood preserve and a river. As like attracts like and serendipity abounds, the opportunity for another camping weekend in the redwoods presented itself, this one near a waterfall (also on my vision board).

Now, I’ve completed both trips and I even climbed in a kayak and I’m exhausted and wanting more. The natural world completes us in a way that cultivates the peace we crave. There is no cell phone service, less “housework” and busy work. The darkness is deeper. The light returns earlier. The quiet is wider. The noises are fewer and therefore magnified. Not only the external noise, but the internal chatter as well. 

With every day I live, I am more convinced that the planets are conspiring to remove my blocks and teach me how to love harder, both myself and others. The choice is between breaking the barriers down or hardening around them. I am actively breaking them down.

How am I breaking them? With seeking. With books. With journaling. With prayer. With meditation. With love.

I pray for miracles—shifts from fear to love. I pray to see things differently. Things like my kids’ behavior and the true meanings of productivity and the road to self-actualization. I pray for the courage and support to hit “publish” or “send” more. I pray for follow-through and finishing. I pray to be seen and heard. I pray for contentment in the moment and my own skin. I pray for joy.

At some point, praying for joy becomes choosing joy. Just like thinking about camping becomes actual camping.

These little ideas add up. The important part is that we keep adding them up. The crucial part is that we have faith in the madness.

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